Suicide– did you just feel the same chill I did? Do you understand the awful weight that hangs in the air when that word is released into it? Has your heart been through the paper-shredder of a loved one who has chosen death over this world and any person or thing in it? Mine has. Twice. And I’ve exhausted so many avenues of trying to justify each person’s reasons and motives… I’ve found little means of justification. Today, I have been reminded of what the murdering of one’s self can do to surrounding friends, family… and even strangers. This tactic of suicide was introduced by Satan– a long, long time ago. THAT’S why you feel a chill at the mention of the word. THAT’S why it’s hard to breathe. THAT’S why it’s impossible to justify.
I’m going to get off my emotional bandwagon right… about.. now. This hole in the road, this ginormous speed bump is just that– a speed bump. Yet another obstacle or “exit” on life’s winding highway. But I (and all of us) must not fail to relate this to the bigger picture painted. You remember that guy who was born to die? Ya know, the one who kinda saved us from eternal damnation in an eternal lake of fire and other fire and brimstone images? (If you haven’t caught my drift yet, I’m talking about Jesus). Look at the battlefield of a life Jesus had from conception until death on the cross. People were trying to kill him before he was even born. Why do you think that is? Who do you think was behind all this war? Uhhh, Satan was.
You see, Satan knew that upon Jesus’s birth, his power of sin on earth would be null and void. He knew that Jesus would dispose all the world’s sin in a triumphant death. So, once Jesus entered the world, Satan was determined to make Jesus’s life (and death) as brutal and ruthless as he possibly could. Satan was committing his own suicide.
Every spear stuck in Jesus side, every Pharisee’s false judgmental action, every painful foot-step of carrying that cross– Satan commanded. Do you get it? He knows his death is eminent, unavoidable as the power of God. And so he inflicts as much pain and as much suffering as physically and emotionally possible on Jesus, as well as his loved ones. I hate how stabbingly familiar that sounds.
Satan has translated this suicide action to mankind… I think it is more clearly demonstrated in the death of Judas. I’m not sure if Judas hung himself before, during, or after Jesus’s death. However, I think Judas represents Satan in the big scheme of things. As Jesus dies, so does the power of sin– and thus, the power of Satan over a no-longer-condemned world. Judas is the metaphor that hits too close to home.
And still, men and women alike mirror the act of our Enemy. It’s the ultimate surrender, a waving of the white flag, and a nauseating duplication of what murdered the man who brought salvation. I wonder, and I always will, why people kill themselves. What do they want out of it? What is their goal? I will never know… and maybe that’s their goal in itself. But I do know that there is an irreversible shredding of the heart when someone commits this act of suicide. The pain inflicted is wickedly great. And it seems to be hand-delivered by Satan himself, almost like a sick joke. As if he knows he has forever lost, and yet he still inflicts pain and suffering as often as possible to those his bounds can no longer reach. Worst of all, he does it through good people we love.
So how does this experience change us, shape us for the better? How are we to take this and build from it? Armor yourselves, always. If you don’t think the world is a battlefield, you’re hiding in a wound you can’t even see. That should scare the CRAP out of you (pardon my bluntness– I would have said another word if I didn’t feel like a hypocrite for it…). For the rest, understand your battles in a deeper way. We focus much on the war, the transcendent part of our life here on Earth that has already been won by our Savior. But the battles are what bogs us down– they are the only things left for our Enemy to win. And though he can never win the war, he can and does STILL try to win battles everyday. Just look at his sick tactic of imitation, executed in the act of suicide. Don’t stoop to his depths. They are heartbreakingly consuming, and they will cause so much damage for the people around you. If that’s what you want, he has won.
No brevity of death should override the fullness of a life. Even for a suicide victim, his/her chosen method of death does not wash away the beauty exemplified in his/her life. Good, Godly people can fall victim in any battle. That’s what’s so dangerous about the commander for the opposing army– he picks the powerful to do his dirty work. On the other hand, our army’s commander picks the weak.
Be strong. Be powerful. But remember your God-given weakness to depend on Him and Him alone. It is there you’ll find day-to-day victory.
Powerfully dependent on His gift of weakness,