Where I’m Bound, I Can’t Tell…


That’s the worst, isn’t it? That awful feeling of being bound…and the worser feeling of not even knowing where your chains are attached.  It’s such a hopeless problem, mainly because the source is unfindable. In fact, it doesn’t even really exist to the rest of the world because they can’t see it. But you feel it– enough to make it an overwhelming truth you pretend doesn’t exist, fluttering in those secret depths of your heart, unacknowledged by the people around you. And so it looms.

Insecurity– what is it about that word that makes all of us cringe?  What is it that gives other people such power in our own lives? We all feed off of this beautiful entrapment of affirmation, always justifying our every move in junction with the approval of our peers and superiors. Their words, their thoughts, their opinions hinder and catapult our own actions. An unanswered text, an unreturned email, a voicemail never to be heard… they all provoke this sense of an insecure self. The little things shortly add up and snowball into a bigger monster of self-doubt, causing an unjustified questioning of who you are. I hate this so much… I hate knowing that this weakness runs in every human being, including myself. But it’s pointless to try and avoid. It runs through our blood, and we don’t run without it.

How about thinking in terms of the other spectrum of this insecurity lecture? How many times have you made someone doubt their outward appearance (physical, emotional, spiritual,… all aspects) because of a simple unanswered greeting. That phone call that sits in your “Missed Call” box for weeks. The text that is eventually lost into the abyss of cyber space. The email that gets deleted in the rush of the day. They add up. They ALL add up. And whether or not we want to admit it, we have a certain responsibility for other people’s interpretations of our actions or lack thereof.

So… we both issue and exemplify these insecurity seeds. And each time issued or exemplified, they grow rapidly, and turn into a bigger beast than needed. In order to think through a solution, there has to be a common ground among every human being in this world. And there is– it’s communication. It is the heart of relationship, the basis of every encounter we come into with another person DAILY. It is vital. And it keeps the part of people’s insecurity you are responsible for from growing into a major issue.

However, there is somewhat of a catch. Don’t let yourself be more dependent on other people’s thoughts than you innately have to be. Don’t become a puppet of the crowd, moving only as they say. You have that mind of your own that is resistant to others opinions and soundly set in its proper stance. As I have said before, God made you who you are… to be who you are. Not to fight against your God-given self. This contagion of insecurity does not warrant endless dependence on others. Lord, NO! Rather, this need for affirmation needs to be brought to the surface in order for each human beings to battle and balance this interesting condition. An awareness of our sickness for approval has to be prevalent in our lives… if it isn’t, we will get trampled, and that self you were meant to be will be lost in a rubble of disapproval.

As I think on wisdom and maturity, one word always resonates in my mind the loudest– discernment. It’s the mark of maturity. It’s what sets the wise apart from the foolish. So strive for that… learn when to cater to the opinions of others and when to embrace your own heart’s truth. Everything in life seems to be about this unseen balance of, well, everything. And this is such a prime example of another piece to the puzzle. Take up the reigns of your life by understanding when to put them down.

Affirmation, insecurity, communication, discernment. They are all best friends in the word-world (ha- wouldn’t it be fun to live there?). And they all are very related, both antagonistically and developmentally. The chains of insecurity… rage against your nature and let them fall off. Embrace a discernment placed in your heart by the Maker of man. He knows where you’re bound, and He reserves the right to rip off your chains for Himself. Invest in the heavenly releasing He gives.

Yeah, it’s time to get back on the road again. It’s time to be aware of my surroundings and of the other cars on the highway who sometimes need a helping flashing of lights, a directional blinker, or a friendly honk to keep trudging along this winding road… and to know who needs what.

Defy Insecurity. Affirm affirmation. Communicate love. And Discern when or when not to do all of this.

Unbridled, tethered and tied,

Alex

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