Fences– I have this inherent hate towards every single one of those restraining pieces of wood, chain-link, and brick. Have you ever thought of their purpose? They withhold creatures, plants, PEOPLE, that are meant to be wild, free-spirited, and untamed. They are barely a step down from cages, meant to trap anything and everything within its borders. In theory, I understand them perfectly. Society has made these fences an indefinite necessity, something that doesn’t even need a second thought. They contain for the convenience of the owner. They give a sense of private control, a self-praising ownership over the property inside the bounds of the fence. Though I hate them, they are logical investments for containing what is rightfully yours. So, in theory, they seem good… but where is the line drawn between theory and application? Danger comes when fences become a way of life.
An Airstream state of mind… that’s what this blog is called. But an airstream’s most dangerous enemy is a fence. Wheels can only take you as far as the fence allows. Its power is lost, its thrill dimmed, and its purpose– negated. How many men feel this way? How many men feel as though the adventure isn’t an adventure at all? The man in his late thirties, who feels trapped in a marriage that seems to have lost its spunk. The 18-year-old who feels as though every aspect of his life has been determined by his parents, or, worse still, his friends. The man in his sixties who feels as though his only adventures rest in the stories told of his past. This state of man… this dissatisfaction with the lack of adventure is too common and too often misdiagnosed. Mankind (men especially) are not called to live under the captivity of a fence. We are given a beautiful thing– a wild heart. A heart that answers to no one but its Creator, and His beautiful grace and allowance knows no such things as fences. And yet we insist on killing it with imprisonment.
To the man who feels stuck in a marriage where every day seems to be a repeat of the one before– what do YOU think has happened? I’m not going to pretend like I know. But I have theories. Perhaps your goal of adventure, the sheer definition of it, was smudged and misinterpreted somewhere down the line. Perhaps the woman of your dreams BECAME your adventure, and once you won her heart, your adventure plateaued. I think this is common in a lot of marriages actually– the girl is the end-all be-all of the man’s journey. But such a journey is one that ends abruptly, and goes against the nature man was given. No, a woman was meant to assist the man in his journey, to be his fellow “journeyer” in the race of life… not BE the journey. A woman wants to be rescued, swept off her feet in a companionship that will last a life-time (given– I would know very little about this, but take it for what its worth). Maybe your wife has gained the power to tame you, or, more commonly, perhaps you fenced yourself in.
For the teenager– Lord knows this is an interesting time. You know, you were meant to call the shots in your life. Your parents, God bless ’em, have a time limit on their parenthood– and hopefully, their parenting will serve you well into your adulthood. But it is time to accept your OWN adventure. To make decisions, go places, follow YOUR God-given wild heart. Yes, your parents will, in fact, always be your parents– but the dynamic in your relationship with them will undergo a drastic transformation where parenthood turns into a best-friendship. The deepest aspirations of your heart, the things your whole body longs to accomplish– you want these things for a reason. With God’s guidance and toggling, you can make the calls to follow that heart of yours. Don’t tame your heart before you ever let it run wild.
To the old man, who has lost hope for adventure– what are you doing wasting time? You are not still on this earth to kill time… to kill yourself. One thing I know, a man’s heart always has more aspirations, more goals, and more adventure to live out. Don’t give into the paralysis that consumes the lost man. Don’t fence yourself in the past. Live now. Live here. Go down the road of the present! It’s a lot longer than you think. You are unhappy because you laugh at your inherent longing for voyage, when saying yes is all it takes to rescue yourself from a dormant life.
A man’s adventure doesn’t have an endpoint on this Earth… I’m not even sure that the adventure stops in the full presence of God after this life either. Men, we are wild at heart. Accept the heart that was so carefully hand-crafted to fit everything you’re called to be. God doesn’t put you behind a fence. You do. If you find yourself behind one, knock it down, and start the adventure you were called to eternally embark on. You have one heck of a Guide. Women, don’t ever hold back a man’s wild nature. Don’t ever make yourself THE adventure of a man. Ever since the fall and deception of Eve, there has been this dive downward into a desire for control and a fear of loneliness on the behalf of the daughters of Eve. Fight against that. And embrace your own heart, beauty, and worth.
A man who has lost his heart is a dreadful thing, and the quest for that lost heart is even more dreadful. But it can be found again. Never accept the confines of a fence as a normality. Never silence your call for adventure. And never EVER let a fenced-in mindset destroy your airstream state of mind.
Oh, and don’t fence me in either.
Looking through a foggy windshield,